Putting the WTF in Thorny Towers Insane Asylum
by Key The Thief
Summary: Edit September 24: MY SAVE FILE WAS DAMAGED. Damnit! So that means I have to play through the game ALL OVER AGAIN. Don't expect a new chapter anytime soon. I'm sorry T.T
1. Never push buttons in fright

W00t!

Rated T for language during my author's comments. And future language in the next chapters. Vix loves to curse.

"This place is so freaking creepy, it isn't funny." The girl said to her friend, controller in hand. She had slightly-tanned skin, brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a blue hat on backwards.

"Shut up, shut up! I think he just said something!" her friend replied, shushing the first girl and pointing toward the screen. She had dark skin and braids, seven of them going down normally and an eighth one flipping over her ear.

The two girls sat in a dark room, the only light coming from the television stacked atop an older, obsolete television and from the computer screen on the first girl's lap, a laptop affectionately named Compy.

A boy named Raz was on the screen, standing in a dank, dark hallway.

After a short pause, during which the two girls looked at the screen, Raz's voice sounded.

"Well, here I am…

Up in the tower of the abandoned insane asylum…

Wearing a straight jacket…

And talking to myself."

The girl with the hat pushed the circle button a few times to take the straight-jacket, trophy, and painting off of him, then slowly moved the analog stick forward and Raz walked on screen.

There was a chittering sound and all of a sudden, huge, grotesque rats skittered out.

The girls screamed, and the first one mashed the buttons on the game controller…

----------------

There was a blinding flash, and Razputin Aquato stumbled backward, surprised. "Wh-whoa!" he stuttered, throwing his arm up to shield his eyes.

There were two shrieks and several small explosions. When Raz looked back, he saw two girls about his age, maybe a year or so older, swooning in a cloud of green gas, released by the rats.

He waited until the confusion gas cleared before helping them up. "Are you two okay? Where did you COME from?"

The girl with braids clutched his hands, stumbling a little as she stood up with his help. "Oohh… what the hell was THAT?" she regarded him dazedly. "Oh, thanks, Razputin…"

She did a double take.

"Wait a minute, RAZPUTIN! Holy sweet Jesus!" she turned to scream at her friend. "VIX! It's fucking Razputin! FROM PSYCHONAUTS!"

"Eh wot?" The girl with the hat, apparently named Vix, mumbled, shaking her head clear. "Sakara, stop kidding yourself. Razputin's only in a g-, " she looked at the boy, who had a surprised, freaked out, WTF? look on his face.

She shrieked. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE! IT IS RAZPUTIN!"

The computer still rested on her lap, but the confusion gas and the fall had shut it off. She closed the lid and stood next to Sakara. The two girls looked each other up and down and screamed again.

"We're SHORT!" Sakara yelled, dismayed because she enjoyed the fact that they, being the same height, towered over other people.

"WE'RE COMPUTER GENERATED IMAGES! Look at us!" Vix pointed to her back. She wore a grey hoodie and blue jeans that belled out around the knees going down. "My ponytail glitches into my hood, and your braids go into your back when you move your head!"

"I KNOW!" Sakara yelled back. She wore a black t-shirt with a white falling man on it and the caption, 'I do all my own stunts' under him, and jeans that split up the sides until it reached her knees.

Razputin, however, just watched the two, finally interrupting with a, "Okay, what are you two talking about?"

The two girls turned back to look at him.

"Err…" Vix started. "Well, uh… never mind! The confusion gas… confused us a bit!"

Raz gave her a look. "Well, yeah… that's kind of what confusion gas DOES."

Vix giggled sheepishly, while Sakara smacked her in the back of the head. "Don't listen to her, she's retarded. Anyway, I think it's time we be leaving…. Y'know, going back to where we came from…"

Vix tugged on her shoulder. "But we don't know how! I think we need to beat the game first!"

"Beat WHAT game?" Raz asked, close to pulling his hair out in frustration. These two girls made no sense. Lili was SO MUCH better than these, even when she WAS pissy.

Lili… He needed to save her from that Doctor Loboto! But the asylum freaked him out as much as it freaked them out. Maybe…

"Hey, are you two psychics?"

The two girls, who had been trying to come up with an answer to his game question, was startled. They were quiet for a moment. Then they busted up laughing.

"AAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHHAHA! US? Psychic? No way!"

Vix gestured to herself. "Do I look psychic to you?"

"Yeah! Does she? Do I?" Sakara added.

As if on cue, another horde of rats burst from the wall, rushing at the two girls.

They both screamed, and the rats in front of Sakara burst into flame, while a bright-blue levitation ball appeared under Vix, who was pushed up and shrieked again, rolling into the rats before her, spears of blue psychic energy spiking the ball when it rolled and killing the rats.

Sakara accidentally caught one of her shoes on fire and ran around screaming until it went out by itself, and Vix lost her balance on the ball, falling backwards and landing on her behind. "OW!" she yelped as the ball disappeared.

Raz rolled his eyes and shook his head sadly.

----------

After he sat them down and had a little 'explaining' talk, the trio discovered that Vix had a skill for Levitating, which was no surprise, as it had been her favorite power while playing the game before she was in it, and Sakara was a natural Pyrokinetic. This was also no surprise, as Sakara loved to play with matches when she was little.

Unfortunately, the two couldn't do much else. They did, however, somehow acquire at least some of Raz's acrobatic abilities, so they were able to pole-ledge-swing like him, at least, for a little bit.

"Okay, so you two know what's going on?"

"Yup!" They both said in unison.

"And what we have to do?"

"Climb to the top of the tower!"

"Bingo," He looked at his two new companions. They both had a serious look on their faces, and Vix had grabbed a broke pipe from off the ground and thwacked it into her palm every once in awhile.

"Alright, then. Let's do this."

That statement was met with a chorus of 'w00000000ts!' and cheers.

The three turned and faced down the hallway that lead deeper into the abandoned asylum.

They were ready.

At least, they believed they were.

Cxxxll

OMGS. First chapter done.

Now, I've been reading all of the Psychonauts fan-fiction (which is very good, by the way. Lovin' all the Sasha and Milla ones XDD 3 ) and decided, 'well, shit! I'm gonna write one! We need more, anyhow!'

Anyway…

This is based off of a true story. My name is Vix (I swear to freaking god it is.) and my friend's name is Villeen, but we call her Sakara.

She slept over while I was playing Psychonauts for the first time, and those were our reactions for the upper insane asylum level. CREEPY. AS. SHIT.

I hate them fucking rats, I really do.

Only a few facts changed:

While we were playing that level, all the lights were on in my room. ALL OF THEM. We wouldn't have been able to stand it if they weren't.

We are, actually, thirteen, but I made us ten-eleven (Sakara's older than I am) to cut down the age difference.

The reason why I stopped there is because I'm a little rusty on what the level actually looks like. I'm currently replaying through the game, and I'm up to Waterloo World. Once I beat that, I'll be able to go into the upper insane asylum and get the level specs to accurately describe it. So… yeah XD

But other than that, this story is actually what would've happen had I mashed some sort of ultra-secret code onto the controller and transported us into the Psychonauts game.

I'm defiantly writing more, but reviews would make the story come out faster.

Love and Coca-Cola

Vix.


	2. Always bring more pants

Before, I forgot to put in something that's called a 'disclaimer'.

Now, I don't like disclaimers. If Psyhconauts belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing FANfiction, now, would I? If Psychonauts belonged to me, I would be a man, much older than I am currently, with a head full of fantastic ideas, and I would be very proud of me to have put together a game such as this, regardless of how much money the company made off of it.

But I'm not, so here it is:

this is the only place where I'm going to put it:

I do not own Psychonauts, the ideas for Razputin Aquato, Milla Vodello, Sasha Nein, Black Velvetopia, Edgar Teglee, Crispin Whitehead, Fred Bonaparte, Gloria von Guten, Boyd Cooper, Thorny Towers Insane Asylum, Whispering Rock summer camp, Linda, the Hulking Lungfish, Lili Zannotto, Dr. Loboto, those motherfucking annoying exploding freaking rats that scare me so much, and anything else that basically isn't Vix, Sakara, or Compy.

The only thing you, as the reader, have to worry about is the language (curses). and the need for extra pants.

* * *

"Oh my god… Why couldn't this have been Black Velvetopia! That level fucking pwned!" Vix mumbled, clutching the broken steel pipe to her.

She, along with her two companions, walked slowly, carefully, down the hallway littered with old, broken wheelchairs, and beds, with straps and without. There were holes and debris everywhere. A large hole in the ceiling, strangely, let in a huge gap of light. The three stood in it, facing forward.

"It couldn't have been Black Velvetopia," Sakara spat, annoyed and frightened. She wanted out of this friggen level already. "Because nothing in Black Velvetopia scared us like those fucking rats did."

"What about El Odio? He freaked ME out." Raz admitted, adjusting his goggles.

"But he was bright pink." Vix pointed out.

"And he had what looks like hot pink high heels on." Sakara said right after her.

"And-"

"OKAY, OKAY!" Raz shouted, blushing. He didn't want to seem weak in front of them, I mean, he had just met them, and, when you think about it, to be afraid, even slightly, of a big pink bull…

Well, that was just plain silly.

"Never mind, then! Let's just… keep going." He led the small group forward, forming a sort of inverted triangle. Sakara and Raz walked side-by-side, ready to use Pyrokinesis (Sakara's specialty) and energy blasts (from Raz) to pick off the rats from afar.

Vix walked a step behind them, ready to bash any rat that came up behind them, knowing full well that she was dangerously close to the confusion gas, and if she inhaled any, she was forcing the group to stop for a few precious moments so she could right herself again.

Compy, Vix's trusty laptop, floated behind her on a small levitation ball Raz helped Vix create. They both used a small part of their mind to maintain it, which left them mainly free to focus on the rats and the creepy asylum hallway.

Vix lingered behind to examine the walls, running her fingers over the old graphiti. Some of it, actually, was quite good. But others, namely the ones of the rats, and the balloon-heads on the turning of the stairs, were just plain creepy.

"I wonder who did all of these…" Raz thought out loud. He paused at the top of the steps and looked around. "And where is all of this fog coming from?"

"I don't know…" Sakara mumbled. She passed him and walked into the room ahead of her, looking around and picking up the challenge-marker card that was floating there. She walked out and shuddered, feeling a cold wind come through the hole in the wall behind her.

Sakara remembered what she had heard about the different types of Psychonaut. There was one - she supposes it's called an empath - that could pick up emotions from people, memories and the like.

She mentioned this to the others. Vix remained quiet and focused on keeping Compy more stable than before (he wobbled a lot when they walked) while Raz said quietly, "Then if an empath where here… it would be the perfect place, 'cause they would go crazy." He shuddered at the thought.

Raz remembered the strange nightmare room he had encountered in Milla Vodello's - one of his camp councilors and the famed Mental Minx - mind, and the vault that had come with it.

All three of them had been shaken and saddened by her sad past – they all liked her a lot and didn't want to see someone like that have a marked past as she did.

Raz remembered the last slide of the reel in the vault. Milla absorbed her children's feelings, their pain, and kept them locked inside her.

"I sure hope Milla and Sasha aren't stuck here." He said, shaking his head.

Vix laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled a bit, giving a little sunshine to the scene.

That didn't last too long – MORE rats poured from the walls.

"My GOD! Where the fuck are these beasts COMING FROM?" Vix screamed in frustration – she was getting tired of these bitches.

The trio leaped over a small barricade of tables and debris, down the right of that hallway. They saw a room that was only slightly boarded up, past a big gaping hole with a few planks conveniently thrown over its length.

And into the bathroom through a window, they saw…

"Look! A brain!" Raz pointed.

He and Sakara crossed the hole via the planks, but Vix opted to call up a levitation ball and simply leap over, grabbing it's tail at the top of the jump and softly floating down, Compy directly behind her, simply because her balance absolutely sucked.

"Show off." Sakara huffed. Vix growled back something along the lines of, "Well, at least you can blow shit up!" and the two spent the time it took Raz to go inside the room, smack the brain, look at who it belonged to, say something to it, kiss it, then walk back out glaring at each other.

"Aw, c'mon, break it up." Raz walked between them. "BOTH of you help the whole… team-thing a lot. Sakara, I can't blast all those rats on my own, and Vix, you need to help transport Sakara when we have to Levi-jump, plus, you're watching our backs."

The two girls sent each other one final look of 'this ain't over', and then turned their heads away.

The trio retraced their steps back through the hallway and down the other side, beating off more onslaughts of rats and climbing over rocks and chairs.

They began to hear strange panting noises and little squeaks, but they thought nothing of it, supposing it was just rats… doing the deed.

(When Sakara said this, Vix quipped, "So that's how they respawn so fucking quickly!" and Raz cracked up.)

Then they saw half off a big, fat-ish blue body clothed in a red dress with wild white hair peek over the edge of a wall, spot them, and freeze.

They did, too.

After a short pause of about ten seconds, all four beings let out loud screams.

Another levitation ball appeared under Vix, sending her off on her ass. Sakara shot flames at it with her mind, but they just bounced on the ground. The…thing was out of range.

Raz, however, had maxxed out all of his marksmanship upgrades, and was able to send a few blasts that reached the corner, scorching it. Some blasts ricocheted off the wall and hit other walls and things.

The being, whatever it was, shrieked in an high-pitched voice and disappeared. When the trio ran to the corner to see it, there was nothing there exept more of that creepy fog and a short cliff, two polls leading from their edge over the big gap.

"Where did-…?" Raz started, and the three exchanged glances.

"We… we're really not alone down here. There's someone else."

They were stupid to think otherwise. What about Fred? Gloria, Edgar? Hell, even Boyd and Crispin! If they were still there, outside, then why wouldn't someone else be here, inside?

Vix moaned a bit. "Hey, guys?"

"What?" They both responded.

"I think I just pissed myself."

Sakara yelped and jumped backwards, waving her hand over her nose. "oh, sweet jesus! That smell was YOU?"

"N'aa, just kidding."

"Then who…" They both looked at Raz, Vix sitting up.

He looked at them both, then mumbled. "I'm not saying anything. Let's go."

Cxxxxxll 

W00ts, another chapter done!

I want to give a shoutout to the, like, three people who reviewed me, on the site and off-site (Gaia Online. Drop me a PM if you go on there, too. My username's Key The Thief.)

This is slightly more serious than the last one, and kinda longer, maybe, too.

This one also took a shorter time to write. About an hour or so. The last chapter took me a few hours. I started it on Saturday night, then finished it earlier tonight.

Now, Sheegor scared the piss out of me and Sakara. Creepy little… almost as bad as the rats!

But I've come to like her more. When you use Clairvoyance on her, she sees Raz as Jesus! XDD So she's cool.

On a different note, I've been smelling some sort of peanut-buttery, cookie-dough like smell around my room. And there hasn't been any peanut-butter in here for months. (I used to store a jar of peanut-butter in here for me to eat once in awhile) and it happened once before, at school in art class.

My very intelligent friend asked me if I knew anybody who had died that made cookies. I said no. She implied that maybe it was that person's spirit hanging around.

Then I just realized – my mother always told me about when her and her grandmother, my middle-namesake (Josephine) made cookies together all the time before she died.

O.O Well, then.

That's all for now. I sure as hell ain't playing any more asylum levels tonight (it's about one in the morning right now) so the next chapter will have to wait a bit.

Love and peanut-butter-cookie-dough-ghosts

Vix


End file.
